I am still on “break” since my last post. Though it isn’t really a break from the game itself, more of just a break from playing. Through this time, I have actually probably been thinking more about the game than I would otherwise. For a while there, I was all dried up on what new stuff I could learn and this break has opened my eyes to new facets of the game that I can apply right away.

This is the longest stint away from the tables that I can remember in a long time. Though I have played a short session here and there, it was really just to test out some theories that I have, and not really with the intent of getting back into the grind.

Sometimes you need to take a step back to take two steps forward. I feel that is what I am doing through this process. A while back I spent an extended period of time working on the math behind limit 5 card draw. Through that period, my game became that much better. It really helped me be able to put hand ranges on my opponents as well as become an overall more skilled-aggressive player.

Fast forward to this lay off. I have been watching all kinds of videos from PXF and browsing forums soaking up as much info as humanly possible. I have been thinking about specific NLH situations and applying a strong, well-thought out analysis to each. I am yet to see if it all proves to work, but that will be the fun in trying it out in the future.

Speaking of PXF videos. It used to be when I first joined, and I joined from the beginning, that I would just take in the information from each video and have the outlook that it must be right. By having this outlook I never really sat down to analyze the thought process behind each play.

Recently, I find myself questioning some of the play. Not necessarily because it is wrong, but because I might have a different mindset about a how a hand should be played, or I am not factoring in certain information. Also, I might add it is in no correlation to the quality of videos, as I believe PXF to be a great learning tool that any poker player should take advantage of.

However, after doing most of my analysis it proves the pro to be right, but other times I feel that I have enough evidence to side more to a different line of play. The pros can’t always make the right play. No one can. Besides one post I made in the PXF forums, I haven’t really shared any of my thoughts of the plays, something I probably should do more in the future.

I am hoping that this is a sign of me taking that “next step.”

I am excited about playing again, though I am still disappointed that I let my BR slip so much just as I have done so many times before. Though, this time I did manage to not go broke.

I plan to start playing again this weekend, specifically letting the 5 card draw PL WCOOP event being my welcome back party.

You say, well that is out of your bankroll……that is what got you in this mess to begin with. I currently have some saved up W$ and I am planning on using it there. I plan on playing win or lose. But right after that tourney, it is back to dropping down to levels I haven’t played in a while, back to the grind.

This time though, I plan on treating it more like a business. With a set amount of hours of play per day. I plan on multi-tabling more, getting more games played in a specified period of time. This is my stand against everything that has been holding me back thus far. I am moving forward from this point on, with or without variance, and not looking back.

Let me start this post off with a bang. My poker account on stars is now down to $1035.74. That is a loss of over 75% of my bankroll since my post dated on August 17th.

I sit here and honestly don’t know what to say. In the past I would write something smart and feel like it was a good excuse. This time, I am just not going to make an excuse. I am really disgusted with my poker playing right now that I have decided to take a small break.

I guess if there was to be a good week to take a break, this would be it. I just recently had my wisdom teeth pulled, and I have kind of been in and out of it. I really should of had them pulled years before, but they just never bothered me.

Back to the topic at hand, I feel as though I have a good grasp of many different poker variants. But obviously something is not connecting with me.

My Official Poker Ranking shows that I am now a profitable MTT player, though this was not necessarily the case as recently as 6-8 months ago. Though notice that my most profitable game is under the “other” category due to the limit 5 card draw MTTs I have played in the past. I also believe this to be the case due to the large field sizes in the NLH mtts and I really haven’t had what I consider a big “payday” to give me that great of an ROI.

My Sharkscope is much of the same, proving that I must be doing something right. In fact, the only game that I believe I have a -ROI in when it comes to my Sharkscope is the Turbo 180 man SNGs, though I have a really good ROI in the regulars.

One thing that I have to note about both my OPR and my Sharkscope is that it really isn’t enough games for me to make a solid evaluation of my game. I have never really been much of a high volume player. Yet, I do believe if anything, my SNG numbers are pretty close, and my MTT numbers are actually behind when it comes to my true potential.

So where is the problem? It must be cash games right? Well when it comes BB/100 hands in nearly every game I frequent, I am a profitable player.

The true problem is when I hit a skid in the road. I play WAY over my BR and this is where I compound errors to be left with a less than stellar amount in the Cashier. It is like an avalanche that has become out of control. One thing brings on the next, and then I look up and realize that I just don’t know what I am doing anymore.

Now I have had many stints of jumping up levels before my bankroll was truly ready. When I really get burned is when I jump up to chase losses or when I am tilting. When I have jumped up in the past due to my knowledge of the competition or the edge I feel I have in a game, I have done pretty well. In fact, that is where I made my last run from 2k to 4k in 5 card draw.

I really just wish I could jump up to a limit today where I could compete for what I consider to be good money. Playing at the lower levels seems to bore me. I like to play against the best and at the best levels. This is my competitive desire coming out.

Am I the only one to get in a rut like this? No. In fact, it seems recently I have seen alot of “pros” and highly talented players complaining about being on a losing streak, some longer than others. It almost kind of worries me, because if they can’t make a profit, then how can I expect to? Is there really any type of a future in poker for me? Could there ever be a day where the whole playing field is so leveled out that nearly no one will be able to make an income from just playing poker?

Those are questions I can not answer, nor should I even attempt to at this point. But what I can do is answer the the question that I titled this post with. What is missing? What is holding me back?

After some long hard looks at my game (though with plenty of mistakes) I have come to the conclusion that there really isn’t much missing in my game for me to have not already reached my goal to 10k by now…..Instead it is too much of something……EGO!

I need a reality check and realize that I am only as good of a player as by how much money I make at this game. Everything starts with me, and I have to fight myself just to get to the next level. Poker really is a humbling, self-evaluating game that seems to always throw you a curveball when you are looking dead red fastball.

For the next couple of days, I plan to still keep evaluating my game and continue to brush up via videos and books. I will come back a better player and I am looking forward to it.

Sorry it has been so long since my latest post entry. This past week has truly been one of the craziest I can remember in a long time. My bankroll has been on a roller coaster ride, with it ending up down.

After writing my last post about goal setting, I have actually found that I have a wrong outlook. Yes, it is good to have an overall goal right now to reach a bankroll level of 10k, but shooting to win 100 a day is not the best idea.

I have found myself winning $250 dollars in a quick 1 hour session then quiting for the day, feeling good about my play. Win another $150, and quit…..so on and so on.

Then it happens, I hit variance. Nothing seems to be going right. I am not getting dealt any hands at all, and when I do get dealt a playable hand, it always seems to be second best. When this happens, I go on tilt just waiting for my luck to go back to at least normal.

Before I know it, I will have lost what I have worked so hard to win in 2 weeks times. Easy come, easy go.

So after speaking with some players in which games I truly respect, I have taken a different outlook, especially when it comes to cash games. I don’t need to have the outlook of trying to win a certain amount during a session, rather my goal should be to put in a certain number of hours.

If I am a profitable player, the wins will come as long as I put in the hours.

So to talk about the past week, my BR got up to just over $4,500, even after losing a ton in the WCOOP steps due to some pretty poor push/fold situational luck. At this time, I was making up for the lack of results in the WCOOP steps with 5/10 and 10/20 limit 5 card draw cash, and 3/6 limit holdem (6 max).

Then on Tuesday night, everything turned for the worse. I found myself in a rut that I just couldn’t get out of. After a quick $100 profitable session in limit 5 card draw, I sat out for a bit to come back to find my luck turn for the worse. It wasn’t just 5 card draw, my limit holdem game took a hit as well.

After about 5 hours of chasing my losses I found my BR at the level it is today, $2844.

This has been known to happen with me in the past, but I truly feel that if I can have a hourly volume goal rather than a daily monetary goal, I can help make sure this type of thing doesn’t happen again.

I can not let this bother me. I need to keep my head straight and continue working hard for my overall goal. So until next time, I am hoping to put in more hours at the virtual felt.

When it comes to the movies, I am generally the one that would rather wait for it to come out on DVD or on HBO. However the wife is a complete opposite. She loves to go to the movies.

So when my wife asked me if we could go see “The Dark Knight”, I agreed. I am glad I did.

It was a really good movie. Not the best I have seen in the past year, but it didn’t disappoint. I would definitely recommend it to any movie-goer. Though, from what the news says, it looks like everyone already has.

So this being a poker blog, I wanted to see if I could incorporate this movie into my game.

I will take a quote from the movie, though it might be paraphrased:

“Sometimes the truth isn’t good enough. Sometimes people deserve to have their faith rewarded.” – Batman

This got me thinking about poker? Yes! It made me think about how often people are complaining about making the right plays just for some donk to make a miracle draw to beat them out of a huge pot.

The truth is you have to try to always make the “right play” the one that will give you the best return in the long run. The faith of making this play, is that it will work out. Unfortunately, our faith is not always rewarded.

People say that you shouldn’t worry about the results. Just always try to make the right play. It can be hard when you are running bad. This quote hits it right on the head. Sometimes I need to be rewarded with a win.

Not just to assure me of the play I am making is correct, but to just keep me motivated to continue playing this game (that I love). Poker can really mess with your head when things are going bad.