I lost $164 tonight, but I actually am not upset about it…..if you can believe it.

I had some pretty reough beats, but I was starting to get some decent hands at times as well.

Plus, I have done some studying on my game, which is what I often do during bad times like this.  Picked up a couple small things that I have been meaning to work on for a while now, just never got around to it.  I am excited to see if I can use it to my benefit.

So oh well, a loss.  Keeping my head up tonight.  Excited for the week ahead.  I feel good.  Win or lose.

Amount to 60k: $16,101.18

Even if I drop below pace (which I haven’t yet), I can always make a comeback…..right?

I still have yet to win a seat to the WSOP.  It is getting frustrating, but I am not quite worried as of yet.  One thing I am getting concerned about is where I stand as far as reaching my yearly goals in poker.

I sit and look at my hourly rate in 5 card draw and think about how easy it will be to reach specific goals.  The only problem is the games are sparse.  So I can go a few days without anyone sitting down to play against me.  It is forcing me to do something, what I am not 100 percent sure of yet. 

I have mentioned that I want to add a new game to my arsenal.  The one game that might be something I get more into are these 5cd draw HU NL sit-n-gos.  I have played about 80  at this point in time and have averaged winning 2 out of every 3 that I play.  That is actually really good, but I feel I can do better.  I mean I am already winning 2 of 3, and still haven’t really perfected a strategy.  In these 80 sng’s I am not shying away from playing the better players either.  I am taking on all comers.  So it is not like I am only winning 66% of the time against a random fish who decided to try his luck in a new game.  I will admit though, I have run better than not in these sng’s thus far. 

If I am going to meet my yearly goal I need to sit back and look at the big picture.  It is really creeping up on “gotta do something now” territory.  This thought is just sitting in the back of my mind as I plug away at trying to win a seat to the WSOP.

The plan is for the next month to continue to try and win a WSOP seat or two which admittedly is taking away from my advancement in other games.  But if I win a few WSOP seats, it will all be worth it.  Then once July comes, this will be the half way point in the year.  I plan on MAKING myself play, and play a ton. 

I am thinking about creating a challenge kind of thing.  Something where I will log all my sessions here on this blog for all to see, and to show that winning a certain amount of money over a 6 month period can be done playing mostly 5 card draw.  If I hope to reach my goals on the year, I may just need that extra motivation.

Check back later to see where we go with this.

Also…..you might see a few changes to the site in the next coming days.

I can’t believe that the year is over.  What a crazy year it has been too!  Before I share my goals for 2010, I want to review the goals I set for myself in 2009 and see how well I did with each goal.

1. Work out for a minimum of 30 minutes EVERY day.

Well, this goal started out extremely well.  In fact I didn’t miss a day until our first child was born in April.  I had dropped about 10-15 pounds and seemed to be well on my way.  Unfortunately, other things took precedence as I pushed this goal to the side.

Final Grade:  D

Final Thoughts:  It would be and F, but I cannot forget that I did go for a quarter of the year without missing a workout.  If anything, I showed myself that I can do it.  I just need to put my mind to it.

2. Start an online business or businesses.

This goal was more of an aspiration to do something different.  I moved my blog onto this site and monetized it (check out the ads) to hopefully bring in a little bit of cash.  But overall, this goal was a miss.  I learned alot about online businesses through my experience with building this site and studied various outlets and realized it is much harder than I expected to bring in a constant revenue stream.  I am sure if I didn’t have a full plate for the majority of the year and I had more free time, this might be something I could achieve.  But it takes alot of work.  Work that I was unmotivated to do for one reason or another.

Final Grade: D-

Final Thoughts:  Again this is not an outright F because of the fact that I have this site to show for my hard work.  Though I have only brought in less than ten dollars from ad clicks on this site.  Essentially, it is an online business.

3. Surpass my goal to 10k in poker.

Finally, a goal that I achieved outright.  At the turn of last year my online poker bankroll was in the range of 1k.  In fact it was still around 1.5k around June.  That is when I had my first big win.  I won a seat to the World Series of Poker playing the step system on what was basically a freeroll.  I started from step 1, only using frequent player points.  When it was all said and done, I had a bankroll over 12k in June.

I started playing 5 card draw on a more frequent basis after my win and was doing quite well for myself from July to the end of the year.  Unfortunately, some pretty rough stints in multi-table tournaments and other cash games made my bankroll barely increase, if at all.  But then that is when a couple of big breaks came.  I won 2 seats to the PCA for 15k a piece by playing in a couple multi-table tournaments by using a few step 5 tickets I had left over from my WSOP steps attempt from back in June.

Final Grade: A+

Final Thoughts:  I made a substantial amount more than my goal from just June until the end of the year.  It was definitely a good year in poker for me.  I am leaving for the Bahamas soon for the PCA as almost like a celebration of my achievements for the year.

4. Eat healthier.

Sigh,was there ever an attempt at this?  Not really.  I didn’t do much to achieve this goal.  Though I feel I am eating less fast food today than I was this time last year, I still am not eating what I think to be a healthy diet.

Final Grade: F

Final Thoughts:  This is something that I would still like to do.   I just hope that I make a better effort than I did over the past year.

5. Get on a better sleep schedule.

Lol, yeah right!  My poker playing can keep me up quite late some nights, and add in the fact that we have a baby in the house now….this goal seems almost unachievable.  If poker was something I could do more on a full time basis and not have only a few hours to play at night, I could see getting on a better sleep schedule.  I have other goals that are conflicting with this one as I have a full time job that takes all the time in the day and I need to be able to play poker at sometime, that sometime is after the baby is asleep.

Final Grade: F

Final Thoughts:  This is not as important to me as it once was.  I do feel like I am on a pretty decent sleep schedule, just not decent as most would see it.  If some things are able to change in the future, I can assure you I will take a stab at being on a better, more healthy sleep schedule.

Overall

Well, I guess it looks like I failed more than I passed.  I only really achieved one of my goals.  But the goal I did achieve I surpassed with flying colors and am still pleased with myself overall.  I hope that I can achieve my other goals to some extent in the future.  Unfortunately, some things have changed and I need to take priority on other goals.  Come back in the next couple of days, and I will share with you my goals for 2010.

Well, as I said before in the last post, I would be playing the PL Draw WCOOP event. I took the W$ that I had and took the risk. After about 7 hours of trying to play a game that I am really unfamiliar with (since limit draw is really more my forte), I came in 67th out of 1024. It was good enough for me to cash for a little more than double the buyin ($215).

Sigh, but it is bittersweet. I really played well up into the money, then I made a few mistakes when we had about 100 people left. I was then left on life support by time we were down to 80 people. The majority of my downfall was due to a new bigstack moving to my table and absolutely running everyone over.

I tried to make a stand a couple of times, and when I did he had outdrawn me. The guy was not only being ridiculously aggressive, but he was getting hit by the deck as well. A deadly combination. I wasn’t the only one to fall to him. I must have seen him knock out 9 people in about an hour, which is a ton considering the tournament structure and the fact that we are playing 6 handed.

All I can do is tip my hat though, and move on. Speaking of which, it is time to go back to the grind. My BR is now at $1061.72 plus about 50 dollars in W$ left. I am unsure what I will do with that W$, I guess I will just hold on to it for next year’s WSOP steps or something. I don’t really want to sell it, since you never get full value.

As for the games I plan to be grinding out, it will be mostly dependant on my BR level. I set up a spreadsheet that will factor in Fox’s article, and Kelly Criterion. As of right now, I can play 1/2 limit games, .25/.50 NL, MTT’s that are no more than $15, and SNG’s that are no more than $20.

Speaking of Fox, who is also a PokerXFactor pro, have you seen the e-magazine put out by him and Hatfield13, another PXF pro? It is called Blind Straddle, and it really is a good read. It has articles from a number of highly respected poker pros who are also some extremely talented writers I might add.

Outside of that, it is time to hit the tables again. I am excited to be playing again and hopefully my extended time away will pay off.

I am still on “break” since my last post. Though it isn’t really a break from the game itself, more of just a break from playing. Through this time, I have actually probably been thinking more about the game than I would otherwise. For a while there, I was all dried up on what new stuff I could learn and this break has opened my eyes to new facets of the game that I can apply right away.

This is the longest stint away from the tables that I can remember in a long time. Though I have played a short session here and there, it was really just to test out some theories that I have, and not really with the intent of getting back into the grind.

Sometimes you need to take a step back to take two steps forward. I feel that is what I am doing through this process. A while back I spent an extended period of time working on the math behind limit 5 card draw. Through that period, my game became that much better. It really helped me be able to put hand ranges on my opponents as well as become an overall more skilled-aggressive player.

Fast forward to this lay off. I have been watching all kinds of videos from PXF and browsing forums soaking up as much info as humanly possible. I have been thinking about specific NLH situations and applying a strong, well-thought out analysis to each. I am yet to see if it all proves to work, but that will be the fun in trying it out in the future.

Speaking of PXF videos. It used to be when I first joined, and I joined from the beginning, that I would just take in the information from each video and have the outlook that it must be right. By having this outlook I never really sat down to analyze the thought process behind each play.

Recently, I find myself questioning some of the play. Not necessarily because it is wrong, but because I might have a different mindset about a how a hand should be played, or I am not factoring in certain information. Also, I might add it is in no correlation to the quality of videos, as I believe PXF to be a great learning tool that any poker player should take advantage of.

However, after doing most of my analysis it proves the pro to be right, but other times I feel that I have enough evidence to side more to a different line of play. The pros can’t always make the right play. No one can. Besides one post I made in the PXF forums, I haven’t really shared any of my thoughts of the plays, something I probably should do more in the future.

I am hoping that this is a sign of me taking that “next step.”

I am excited about playing again, though I am still disappointed that I let my BR slip so much just as I have done so many times before. Though, this time I did manage to not go broke.

I plan to start playing again this weekend, specifically letting the 5 card draw PL WCOOP event being my welcome back party.

You say, well that is out of your bankroll……that is what got you in this mess to begin with. I currently have some saved up W$ and I am planning on using it there. I plan on playing win or lose. But right after that tourney, it is back to dropping down to levels I haven’t played in a while, back to the grind.

This time though, I plan on treating it more like a business. With a set amount of hours of play per day. I plan on multi-tabling more, getting more games played in a specified period of time. This is my stand against everything that has been holding me back thus far. I am moving forward from this point on, with or without variance, and not looking back.

Let me start this post off with a bang. My poker account on stars is now down to $1035.74. That is a loss of over 75% of my bankroll since my post dated on August 17th.

I sit here and honestly don’t know what to say. In the past I would write something smart and feel like it was a good excuse. This time, I am just not going to make an excuse. I am really disgusted with my poker playing right now that I have decided to take a small break.

I guess if there was to be a good week to take a break, this would be it. I just recently had my wisdom teeth pulled, and I have kind of been in and out of it. I really should of had them pulled years before, but they just never bothered me.

Back to the topic at hand, I feel as though I have a good grasp of many different poker variants. But obviously something is not connecting with me.

My Official Poker Ranking shows that I am now a profitable MTT player, though this was not necessarily the case as recently as 6-8 months ago. Though notice that my most profitable game is under the “other” category due to the limit 5 card draw MTTs I have played in the past. I also believe this to be the case due to the large field sizes in the NLH mtts and I really haven’t had what I consider a big “payday” to give me that great of an ROI.

My Sharkscope is much of the same, proving that I must be doing something right. In fact, the only game that I believe I have a -ROI in when it comes to my Sharkscope is the Turbo 180 man SNGs, though I have a really good ROI in the regulars.

One thing that I have to note about both my OPR and my Sharkscope is that it really isn’t enough games for me to make a solid evaluation of my game. I have never really been much of a high volume player. Yet, I do believe if anything, my SNG numbers are pretty close, and my MTT numbers are actually behind when it comes to my true potential.

So where is the problem? It must be cash games right? Well when it comes BB/100 hands in nearly every game I frequent, I am a profitable player.

The true problem is when I hit a skid in the road. I play WAY over my BR and this is where I compound errors to be left with a less than stellar amount in the Cashier. It is like an avalanche that has become out of control. One thing brings on the next, and then I look up and realize that I just don’t know what I am doing anymore.

Now I have had many stints of jumping up levels before my bankroll was truly ready. When I really get burned is when I jump up to chase losses or when I am tilting. When I have jumped up in the past due to my knowledge of the competition or the edge I feel I have in a game, I have done pretty well. In fact, that is where I made my last run from 2k to 4k in 5 card draw.

I really just wish I could jump up to a limit today where I could compete for what I consider to be good money. Playing at the lower levels seems to bore me. I like to play against the best and at the best levels. This is my competitive desire coming out.

Am I the only one to get in a rut like this? No. In fact, it seems recently I have seen alot of “pros” and highly talented players complaining about being on a losing streak, some longer than others. It almost kind of worries me, because if they can’t make a profit, then how can I expect to? Is there really any type of a future in poker for me? Could there ever be a day where the whole playing field is so leveled out that nearly no one will be able to make an income from just playing poker?

Those are questions I can not answer, nor should I even attempt to at this point. But what I can do is answer the the question that I titled this post with. What is missing? What is holding me back?

After some long hard looks at my game (though with plenty of mistakes) I have come to the conclusion that there really isn’t much missing in my game for me to have not already reached my goal to 10k by now…..Instead it is too much of something……EGO!

I need a reality check and realize that I am only as good of a player as by how much money I make at this game. Everything starts with me, and I have to fight myself just to get to the next level. Poker really is a humbling, self-evaluating game that seems to always throw you a curveball when you are looking dead red fastball.

For the next couple of days, I plan to still keep evaluating my game and continue to brush up via videos and books. I will come back a better player and I am looking forward to it.